Kirtland, Ohio

After we initially moved out to Ohio the first thing we wanted to do was go visit Kirtland. There is so much history there for our church, and it was really special for us to be able to go. We ended up not being able to go until around the end of May. It was great though because it wasn't unbearably hot and humid yet, and it wasn't raining! The weather was literally perfect, and we had an amazing time.

When we arrived we went to the Visitor's Center, there we got paired up with some missionary tour guides who showed us around the little village of Kirtland. My favorite place was the Newel K. Whitney & Co. store. I loved all of the old artifacts that had been collected to furnish all these historic buildings. So beautiful.

It was a very special experience to be in this room. One of the missionaries guiding our tour asked Samuel to share is testimony with our group and it is a memory that I will always hold dear.

After we stopped at the Visitor's Center and the N.K. Whitney Store we headed over to the site of the Kirtland temple. The Communityof Christ owns this historic building, and so it is no longer an operating temple of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. It was awesome to see the very first temple that the members of that time had built though. I can't imagine all of the sacrifice they had to endure in order to complete such a building in that day and age. Amazing.

After we went and saw the old temple in downtown Kirtland, we headed out to the Johnson farm. It was about a 45 minute drive, but it was worth it. There was such a special feeling there, and the stories the missionaries told us of all the amazing things that took place in the rooms we walked through were so powerful. The church has done a really good job of preserving all of the old buildings out at the Johnson farm and furnishing them with furniture and wares from that time period. It was so interesting and such a cool experience to be able to go out there and visit, and it was a beautiful evening.

^This oil printed canvas rug was so beautiful!^

Burying My Weapons

Just because I am deeply and forever in love with my husband does not mean that I treat him perfectly, or that we do not have arguments. In fact, it means the exact opposite. I care so much about him and his opinion that if he disagrees with me about even the most trivial of things it often offends me, and I find myself giving him the silent treatment more often than I would like to admit.

The other night as we lay on opposite sides of our king bed with our backs turned to one another and a sea of sheets, blankets, and pillows between us, I was feeling angry and taking my go-to "vow of silence" with a pouty face and a hard heart. I lay there fully planning on just falling asleep and letting him suffer for his (I'm sure since I can't even remember what the argument was about) minor infraction.


Mostly I think I was just overly tired, and overly emotional, and over life at that moment. Instead of letting me go to bed mad, and letting our argument continue (which would have been very easy for him to do) I felt his hand fish under the covers for mine and a little smile grew on my face as he intertwined his fingers in mine. I then relented and let my toes wiggle towards his until my cold feet met his warm ones.

It is so hard to stay mad at a man who is so humble and willing to apologize for the silliest of things in order to try to mend my hurt feelings. If there is one thing I cherish about my husband it is that our relationship and my feelings are more important to him than his pride. He is almost always the first one to say "I'm sorry" and try to make amends. I am so grateful for that.

On the other hand, I also realize that I need to make a better effort to learn from his example and be more humble--not only in making amends after a fight, but also in establishing peace in place of conflict. I choose almost daily to take up my "weapons" (hurtful words/silence/etc.) against him. I arm myself with all of the things that I know will sting or hurt him, and I use them until I feel that my point has been made or my end met. Not okay. I know that Satan rejoices in our contention, and I don't want even the smallest amount of distance to grow between us while each storm blows over.

So, this is my resolution: instead of taking up arms against my husband and being defensive all the time, I will strive to be more composed, always trying to be in control of my emotions and responses instead of just naturally reacting and going with the "flow" of getting offended or angry. I have also really come to understand that I am responsible for making myself happy. I've heard that a million times in my life, but I never once thought about it in a marital setting since being married is so new for me. Yes, your spouse sure is a contributor to happiness in this life, but we are the primary care-takers of ourselves, and as such we can decide to be happy, always. Luckily, my spouse happens to try and do anything and everything he can to help me in that endeavor, but it is time that I understand that his behavior should not determine my disposition. I am the curator of my own happiness.

My word of advice to all the couples out there choosing to work at their relationship daily; hold hands if there is any tension between the two of you, and don't let go until you feel better. I promise the ill feelings won't last long ;)

"...they buried the weapons of war, for peace."

- Alma 24:19

Some puns about this post for you: we are at the Hopewell Mounds in Chillicothe, OH in these pictures where the Hopewell Indians buried their dead with their riches AND their weapons. Also, it is storming and we were both hoping that it would pass. I know...right?

And I Will Also Be Your Light...

This morning I woke up uneasy. I had knots in my stomach and my heart ached. I just felt weird. Off, ya know? I feel some big changes coming on in our life together and it is sometimes hard to feel like you have both feet planted firmly on the path you are supposed to walk. I mean, the outlines for my life are clear: put God first, then family; have clear goals; stay true to your values; try your best. But there are so many variables! I want to finish school, I want to settle down, I want to travel, I want to start a family, I want to spend more time with Sam--just the two of us...it is slightly overwhelming, right!? I mean!

So, I was laying in my bed, eyes wide open at 6am this morning, trying to sort out my feelings, when I picked up my scriptures and stumbled upon this verse. It's in First Nephi, so I mean, as many times as I have started reading the Book of Mormon, you would think I'd have it memorized. But it popped out at me like it was almost written in gold letters:

"And I will also be your light in the wilderness; and I will prepare the way before you, if it so be that ye shall keep my commandments; wherefore, inasmuch as ye shall keep my commandments ye shall be led towards the promised land; and ye shall know that it is by me that ye are led." - 1 Nephi 17:13

So can we just talk about this for a minute. I mean, please! What beautiful promises!

• "I will be your light in the wilderness..." My life feels like a wilderness right now. I mean, not in some dramatic, I'm lost, I can't see through the trees, it's dark and cold and lonely, way. I just feel like I need some direction, and some comfort, and some...more. I need more "light" than I can provide for myself. What a beautiful promise, that He will be the guiding light we need!

• "I will prepare the way before you..." What a comfort you guys! How my heart just swellllls at this statement from our loving Father in Heaven. I look back at my life and the people I have met, and the paths I have taken and I can see the hand of God, my loving Heavenly Father, paving the way and preparing me to move forward in the direction he knows is best for me. How glorious is it to know that He is constantly preparing a way for us to learn and grow from experiences that are shaping us into who He wants us to be!

• "...ye shall be led towards the promised land;" The promised land, or the promised blessings He has in store for us are along the way He is preparing! If we but trust in Him, those blessings can be ours! God wants us to succeed, and if we keep the commandments we are promised that He will assist us in reach and achieving our goals! He is always leading and guiding us in the right direction, all we need to do is heed His voice and follow Him!

• "and ye shall know that it is by me that ye are led." Not only will God do all of these things for us if we strive to live by His commandments, but He will build our testimonies of His very existence and His presence in our lives! I have come to know this as I have strived to put my trust in Him and allow Him to lead me. The more I trust in Him and heed the promptings of the Spirit, the more I notice how much He is helping me, and how much He loves me and knows me.

I am so grateful for the scriptures. I have to admit that I have been a slacker at reading and studying over God's word lately, and I have noticed (obviously from my above feelings) the absence of the certainty and peace that they normally afford me. I am making a commitment to be better, and to dive in and "feast" on the words that God has given us to help us in this life. I have missed so much the blessings that come from studying the scriptures. I mean, look at the treasures that are in this one verse!

I am feeling so extremely blessed today. To know what I know, to know who I know, and to be where I am. Life is good, and God is great.