No one can prepare you for pregnancy. No one can tell you what your journey to motherhood is going to feel like. It's indescribable, and it is the greatest blessing. I have never felt closer to my Father in Heaven than I have since being pregnant and preparing to welcome one of His precious spirits into our family.
For the first time in my life, my body and spirit have felt their full power as I have come to fulfill the measure of my creation. I feel godly, I feel powerful, I feel my true purpose coursing through my veins, and I feel joy; especially when I sit quietly and feel the sweet movements of this baby inside of me. It is magical.
I have also never been more terrified in my life. I think about little else besides this baby and I have never loved someone so much. There are a million fears and "what ifs" running through my mind, but at the end of the day I feel peaceful because I feel the comfort of God's approval. Somehow I know, deep down inside, that He is pleased with Samuel and I. I can feel His joy for us as we prepare to receive His greatest blessing for all of His children--to create our own families. I have had so many experiences since being pregnant where my mind has been opened to the importance of families to our Heavenly Father. He loves us and wants us to be happy and nothing has brought me more happiness. Not ever.
I am 23 weeks along now and I have been feeling so good. Which is a big change from my first trimester (thank goodness). The contrast is so great I honestly felt like a super hero for the first couple weeks after the nausea subsided. It had just been SO long since I hadn't felt too sick and tired to do ANYTHING, that I felt like I could do EVERYTHING!
Also, I really like my doctor. I've had an ultrasound at every single appointment because he loves me (and I may have bribed him with brownies to let Sam see the baby since he doesn't get to come to every appointment). He even did his own ultrasound after we had an ultrasound at radiology for my 20 week appointment because he wanted to see the baby for himself! Haha. He also lets Sam find the heartbeat with the Doppler when he is there. It's really fun. Once Sam finds it he comes over and counts the beats.
I found this pregnancy questionnaire here that I thought would be fun to answer incase any of you were wondering how things are going :)
How far along: 23 weeks!
How big is baby? The size of a large mango! (My uterus is now the size of a soccer ball!!)
Total weight gain: About even from when I lost a bunch of weight from being so sick my first trimester. Maybe even a few pounds lighter still.
Maternity clothes: Some shirts, most of my shirts still fit and all my pants still fit thank goodness.
Stretch marks: nope!
Sleep: I sleep well but get up 3-4 times a night to pee.
Best moment of this week: Feeling this baby move all the time! She kicked so hard earlier this week I felt her heel in my hand!
Miss anything: Sushi. So much I miss sushi.
Movement: SO much movement. I feel her the most when I am lounging. She likes to move the most at night and early in the morning when I'm trying to sleep! Ha.
Food cravings: Still on my cereal kick. Also cook & serve vanilla or banana pudding, A&W root beer, vegetables, salads, shrimp
Anything making you queasy or sick: Not anymore! Hallelujah. Although, Chick Fil A chicken strips always make my stomach turn now because I tried to eat them while I was really sick around 9 weeks.
Have you started to show yet: Um yes.
Labor signs: nope!
Belly button in or out: In
Wedding rings on or off: On
Happy or moody most of the time: Really happy! I have my moments, especially if I am tired or hungry, and I cry easier, but for the most part I just feel so happy all the time.
Looking forward to: Going camping this weekend with friends and Sam's birthday next weekend!