This morning I woke up uneasy. I had knots in my stomach and my heart ached. I just felt weird. Off, ya know? I feel some big changes coming on in our life together and it is sometimes hard to feel like you have both feet planted firmly on the path you are supposed to walk. I mean, the outlines for my life are clear: put God first, then family; have clear goals; stay true to your values; try your best. But there are so many variables! I want to finish school, I want to settle down, I want to travel, I want to start a family, I want to spend more time with Sam--just the two of us...it is slightly overwhelming, right!? I mean!
So, I was laying in my bed, eyes wide open at 6am this morning, trying to sort out my feelings, when I picked up my scriptures and stumbled upon this verse. It's in First Nephi, so I mean, as many times as I have started reading the Book of Mormon, you would think I'd have it memorized. But it popped out at me like it was almost written in gold letters:
"And I will also be your light in the wilderness; and I will prepare the way before you, if it so be that ye shall keep my commandments; wherefore, inasmuch as ye shall keep my commandments ye shall be led towards the promised land; and ye shall know that it is by me that ye are led." - 1 Nephi 17:13
So can we just talk about this for a minute. I mean, please! What beautiful promises!
- "I will be your light in the wilderness..." My life feels like a wilderness right now. I mean, not in some dramatic, I'm lost, I can't see through the trees, it's dark and cold and lonely, way. I just feel like I need some direction, and some comfort, and some...more. I need more "light" than I can provide for myself. What a beautiful promise, that He will be the guiding light we need!
- "I will prepare the way before you..." What a comfort you guys! How my heart just swellllls at this statement from our loving Father in Heaven. I look back at my life and the people I have met, and the paths I have taken and I can see the hand of God, my loving Heavenly Father, paving the way and preparing me to move forward in the direction he knows is best for me. How glorious is it to know that He is constantly preparing a way for us to learn and grow from experiences that are shaping us into who He wants us to be!
- "...ye shall be led towards the promised land;" The promised land, or the promised blessings He has in store for us are along the way He is preparing! If we but trust in Him, those blessings can be ours! God wants us to succeed, and if we keep the commandments we are promised that He will assist us in reach and achieving our goals! He is always leading and guiding us in the right direction, all we need to do is heed His voice and follow Him!
- "and ye shall know that it is by me that ye are led." Not only will God do all of these things for us if we strive to live by His commandments, but He will build our testimonies of His very existence and His presence in our lives! I have come to know this as I have strived to put my trust in Him and allow Him to lead me. The more I trust in Him and heed the promptings of the Spirit, the more I notice how much He is helping me, and how much He loves me and knows me.
I am so grateful for the scriptures. I have to admit that I have been a slacker at reading and studying over God's word lately, and I have noticed (obviously from my above feelings) the absence of the certainty and peace that they normally afford me. I am making a commitment to be better, and to dive in and "feast" on the words that God has given us to help us in this life. I have missed so much the blessings that come from studying the scriptures. I mean, look at the treasures that are in this one verse!
I am feeling so extremely blessed today. To know what I know, to know who I know, and to be where I am. Life is good, and God is great.